Saturday, October 31, 2009

Exile 2.1

17 OCT

All the sudden, out of thin air, this ‘thing’ came across my mind. Or it’s from the radio. Never mind, it doesn’t matter. So it came across my mind that ‘your closest friend is you bitterest foe’. I don’t even know why it came across my mind…

Let’s see why is that shall we...

Your closest friend will understand you better than, maybe, even your blood ties. I don’t about Others, but I have the habit of NOT telling my problems to anybody except my friends. I don’t even know why I acted like that. Maybe I don’t to worry them. Maybe I don’t know how to say it out loud. A lot of possibilities…

Now back to the ‘theory’. Not mine OK, we have known for a long time only we don’t it’s ‘existence’ until the ‘betrayal’ has happened.

These people will not only know your past, if they are observant enough, they will also know your nature, personality, how you think, how you act and how you react to certain things. I know this because I had saw, experience and done these things before. > ]

Before I continue, I must tell you it’s still never too late to close this window. I won’t blame you if you start thinking I’m a psycho or a person who has lost their mind or something. It’s just who I am…


I saw

Since I stopped being a Librarian, I start to ‘see’ things in a different point-of view. Adding up with all the books I’ve read, I seem to have developed a ‘sight’ to see and understand the things they, the people around me, do.

Sometime things are not as simple as the action is and sometime complicated actions just have a simple meaning behind. I can’t explain how, but I just know bits of the person from the things they say and do.

So, when things happened, I’m not as surprised as expected to be. This is because since I’ve nothing to do in class after I resigned from being a Librarian, I observe the people around me and do what the psychiatrist will say as ‘profiling’ them.

Isn’t that just creepy. ) I know, sometimes I also got creep-ed out by my own behavior as well. Lol. But that’s how SOMETIMES I see people. People are not only just humans but also as ‘books’ of different ‘subjects’ for me to ‘study’.

I experience

Who hasn’t experienced betrayal before? Ok, fine. MAYBE just maybe a few, but these as what I called The Lucky Ones are very rare. As rare as seeing an elephant on the highway. It exists but very hard to be found.

I, from what my experience can tell me, my most fatal weakness is being loyal. Seriously! I’m not complicating myself!

And my short ‘betrayal’ story is, (I’ll keep the details to myself) I had once trusted a person. I forgot the name or when or how but I remember experiencing it. I trusted him so much that I let my defense down and I pour out my deepest secrets to him. That’s before I become a psycho. Well, as the mountaineers says: ‘expect the unexpected’. He betrayed me to my Nemesis. Which I also forgot the name. After the incident, I was always on my guard never trust the person fully until I’m 300% sure. But on the happy note, once I trusted them, I’ll be as loyal as Japanese soldier to Japan until they severe the ‘bond’ first. The ‘bonding’ story is another topic which I’ll type another time.

That’s what I found out by my own. Here’s an advice: ‘It’s better know yourself better than other people know you’, because if other people know you better than yourself, you are vulnerable to the people who has plan for you. Always keep one hand to your gun until you can trust them fully.

I done

(Once again) Who hasn’t betrayed Others before? Ok, fine. MAYBE and just maybe and blah, blah, blah.

Yes, I hear and now confess that I betray people before. Only and only when They themselves doesn’t deserve to be trusted. The most obvious example is No. 5. (Inner circle language) He is a brilliant person until he demoted himself so low until nothing more than a slave to The 7 Asses. (The 7 Asses part is my own language. =P) Since he is nothing more than that, I feel no regret to betray him to the Others for he no longer deserves my trust.

Yes, I know I sound arrogant and evil this part but that’s what I think about him and my action towards him.

Now, Readers, you know me more! But as I mentioned above, I won’t divulge everything. So that’s that for the understanding I part.

So back to the very main topic: ‘your closest friend is you bitterest foe’.

After reading what I had saw, experienced and done, you can see, if you can, the very root of all these Happenings and this ‘theory’ is Trust.

Trust, as Fragile as a Glass and as Hard to Gain as a Ruby.

Once the Bond of Trust between Friends is broken, a new Bond of Foe will appear or all bondage will be severed forever. If the Second happened, Yippee you. But if the First happened, you better start prepare yourself for the worst mental assault you ever meet.

In conclusion, XD, I love this part,

Value the Jewel you have now.
For a Lost Jewel may be found after a series of hard work and time
For it also be turned as a Weapon against you.

Exile 1

Ok, I can’t remember exactly when my exile starts, so I just assume that 15 October is the first day of my ‘Exam Exile’.

15 OCT

God! Today my fingers are so ‘itchy’! It’s like I’ve just touch a caterpillar. Damn it! Without my blog as outlet, I don’t have anything to do! As least I still have my phone. Lol. So I start sms-ing people for no reason. XD.

My top list sms-er are usually Iven (he uses DiGi, so cheaper in price! =P), Melissa (usually it’s all craps and trash talk. Sorry Mel! = X), Ben-Jie (also craps and trash talk. Sorry Ben! =X).

Well actually I don’t understand why Mother has to plug out the modem. I know, I know it’s for my own good and those stuff. Let’s face the truth. It’s not like I’m using the Internet to play games or fool around. Ok, I confessed, maybe a couple of times, but it’s just rarely! The only person in this whole bloody house who sticks to the in Internet like a life-source is my good for nothing brother.

Ergh! Don’t even let start talking about him in this post. If it does, it’ll go on and on and on. So lucky you Ben, you’re not an elder brother like me.

Hmm… I wonder what happened to everyone today.

Iven’s replies are all one word messages as in ‘yes’, ‘no’, ‘ah’, ‘izzit’, etc. etc. Is he EMO-ing again? Melissa’s are all about drinking. Do you think she’s drunk? Ben’s is all about how he is going to fail in the coming exam, etc. etc. As if! When the results come out, I won’t be surprise that he scores 9 out of 10 questions.

Maybe everyone got bored from school. I don’t speak for others but previously I have Drama and Big L classes to look forward to. Now I just go to school and wait for the teachers to finish the syllabus. Yawns~ Let’s hope this boredom will not last forever…

Titus Returns from Exile

I’M BACK!!! After a long time of not blogging due to ‘Exam Exile’, at last I’m back action! XD

Now my heads is literally bursting with the things I want to type. Other than pure typing, there’s so much editing to do! So let me tell one thing for sure is, in these few days time, this blog will be back in action with a lot of posts. When I say a lot, I do mean A LOT!

Since it was exam previously, my sweet, caring, loving parents literally plug out the whole modem. So I can just keep short drafts in my mobile phone. Now I’m back online, I’ll start pouring out the things from my phone.

So, ya, you’ll see a lone series of posts which contains things and ideas which cross my mind during the exam period. Now, get a cushion or pillow, make yourself comfortable, make some pop-corn of something and enjoy my posts. XD

I’ll be typing from ‘that day point of view’. Meaning instead of typing as 'last week', I’ll type it as 'today'. I won't doing a lot of Font Colouring since my posts will be long and many.

Monday, October 12, 2009

A dinner to remember...

Yesterday, God, I was like spending more time outdoor than indoor... And... Of darn it, this post will be to long for me to type in an hour. So maybe I'll finish this post later after the exam or something. if you want the details of the Happening, go to either Mellissa's, Nicole's, Ben Jie's, Angeline's or Edbert's blog to read it...


Is abstinence that easy? It's a rhetorical question.Sadly it isn't. Unless you have the uncanny ability of self control and determination. Which (once again) sadly, I have a littke of each reequirement only...

I can't believe, now, I once again, sitting in front of this god damn tempting computer, typing my blog. While I'm supposed to stayed at home, digesting those thick, freaking, horrible, toturing, digusting-to-look-at, books.

Errrhhh!!! I can't imagine how am I supposed to take my exam tomorrow while I haven't even start touching the books and notes about the subject I'm going to take...

Shit man! This is SOOO SHIT!!!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Numb Prt 1

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Firefly Prt 2

So all of you should have listen to the music and read the lyrics of this ‘old song’firefly. This song is introduced to me by Wong Thiam Jun, is that how to pronounce his name?, a F5 prefect in SMK Seri Mutiara. Thanks dude!

I don’t know this is call an opinion or what, but for somehow, every time I listen to this song, I got a weird feeling, I don’t know how to describe it in English, the Chinese description will be 酸溜溜的

OK, OK… I know this is a breakup-come-back-to-me song but somehow it gives me a feeling. A hard-to-let-go kinda feeling. Jeez… did I have a crush on person I haven’t met?! Is that even possible?! Never mind… So when I first listen to the song, the first thing which came into my mind is the departure of the Form 5s this year. I don’t even know what the connection between these two things is but that how my mind works. Weird isn’t it…

So I can already imagine myself, every morning going into the hall, sitting alone with no one to talk to or share my crazy thoughts or give me crazy thoughts.

As I got ‘enlightened’ yester-night that not everyone can accept my kind of craziness. OK, some of you might say that is actually my own personality problem, but I can’t do a thing to change it. Like Michael Wong song’s said, I am who I am.

Even the teachers agree that last year’s Form 4s are way more active comparing to this year’s. They can come up all kinds of odd but fun ideas. Maybe that’s why I prefer hanging out with the Form 5s than the Form 4s…

Due to my craziness in English Literature, this is how I interpret the song…

Firefly, a type of beetle which emits light. In another word, a bringer of light. The firefly plays the role of hope, friend, companion, spouse and girl/boyfriend in this song.

In the 1st and 2nd verse, the firefly had left the singer. Maybe because they had a quarrel, a misunderstanding or a problem. The singer expresses his/her longing of the return of the firefly after the firefly had left. The singer hope that he/she can gain forgiveness from the firefly and hope the it will take him/her away.

In the 3rd verse, the singer describes the similarity and closeness between him/her with the firefly and said that he/she plays a minor role in its life although the firefly can’t see it.

In the 5th verse, the singer hopes that the firefly can come back as soon as possible for he/she can’t stand another day without it

So this is how I interpret the song… For the other students who are taking Big L, maybe you should consider interpreting the song and maybe we can compare notes… lolx… as if anyone is that hard-working…

Firefly Prt 1

When I said go I never meant away
You ought to know the freaky games we play
could you forgive and learn how to forget
hear me as I'm calling out your name

Firefly come back to me
make the night as bright as day
I'll be looking out for you
tell me that your lonely too
firefly come lead me on
follow you into the sun
that's the way it ought to be
firefly come back to me

You and me
we shared a mystery
we were so close like honey to the bee
And if you tell me how to make you understand
I'm minor in a major kinda way

Firefly come back to me
make the night as bright as day
I'll be looking out for you
tell me that your lonely too
firefly come lead me on
follow you into the sun
that's the way it ought to be
firefly come back to me

Fly firefly through the sky
come and play with my desire
don't be long don't ask why
I can't wait another night

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Busy Hols.

This will just another boooring post of mine during the holidays and the coming exam week. The Horror! Good God I'm infected by Gabriel! So if you are searching for something thrilling, blood pumping, or rebellious, I suggest you go to the blog nextdoor...

So this is what happen during my first day of holiday...

~Yawn~ Woke up at 7:30 am... What for? Just to attend an Add Math and Chemistry class in school... Maybe you might think This is ridiculous! Holidays still need to go to school! I rather stay in my bed... Well, that's not what I think. I study better in school than at home. In the house, I'll just faced for four walls and droll OR going in circles in my room. Crazy, huh?!

I came to school, blah-blah-blah. No car crash, no suicidal bomber, or any terrorist attacks. Just a normal morning. Although a few students and friends of mine got a wave by the security guard which indicate you cannot enter school boundaries without a Full-U (full uniform). So be warn people... Some of them went back to change and a few never returned to school. Probably too lazy to come back.

Add math and chemistry class went on without any accidents or anything. Like I mentioned, just a boooring day...

Although Mr. Wong did mention that a few years ago, a couple was caught smooching by the PMR examiner in a class just across the building where PMR was held. Hmm... I wonder what happen to them. And...Ohh... the reason the F5s and F4s are given 'holidays' because the previous examiners are complaint that the students which came to school are to noisy and nosy, which means they wander around the classes where the exams are held.

After school have lunch at Mydin or what's-the-name-of-the-restaurant again?

And now here I am, sitting inside double Cs aka C square aka C.C. aka Cyber Cafe typing my blog...

Hmm... I wonder what's for dinner and what's gonna happen afterwards...

By the way, good luck for the F3s;
Work hard for the F4s;
Study smart for the F5s...

Don't overcooked the cabbage, don't eat earwax, keep your nose clean and you'll live for another day. = ]

Monday, October 5, 2009

Interesting Newspaper Headlines

Ok... I'll keep things simpple and quick... Due to the exam period and and the boring-ness of school today, I've nothing to blog about until I checked my mail which is like dunno for how many days... So I recieved an interesting mail from my Aunt Penny who sent me an e-mail about Interesting Newspaper Headlines. Let's see YOU can make a sense out of it...

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash,Expert Says

So it's meant to be crashed?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

What a guy!
Miners Refuse to Work after Death

No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

See if that works any better than a fair trial!
War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Ya think?!
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought!
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

They may be on to something!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Weren't they fat enough?!
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- ---------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

Boy, are they tall!
And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery;Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?